My Greatest February!!!

After a quite miserable January, finally February has come... Although today is the last day of February, however the whole February has brought me quite a number of memorable moments... The 1st thing I did since entering February was shopping for my Chinese New Year clothes and get myself ready for the coming hectic New Year... For every single people like me Chinese New Year is always an enjoyable moment for us as we can get Ang Pows from the elder...

At the same time Chinese New Year is always the ONLY time for me to meet all my primary and secondary friends... The whole Chinese New Year, I had been spending all my times with my family and my friends... Together we did crazy stuffs like playing basketball late in the night of the 1st day of Chinese New Year... All those moments with family and friends help me to ease my feeling and bring me happiness... 

After Chinese New Year, its Valentine's Day... Valentine's day is always not a day that I will celebrate and its still the same for this year... Never got the ONE to celebrate with therefore Valentine's day is just a normal day for me... This year my Valentine's day was slightly different as I went dinner with my sister and her boyfriend and of cause some other people as well... If only me and two of them surely I wont go, dun wan to be a super huge light bulb... hahaha...

February is the special month for me as my birthday falls in this month... Every year one of my wishes surely is to get someone to be on my side for me to share my every single moments with her but till now i am still single and having all the happy and sad moments on my own... Although I have friends to share my feelings but a he and a she is always making some differences... Anyway I really want to thank my friends for their willingness to celebrate my birthday with me... This year I had few celebration at Neway, Library, San Fransisco Pizza and Pit stop... Hopefully next year after 23years, I can get my special one to celebrate my birthday with me...

This year birthday I got present from my sisters and sister's BF and I even got myself a gift... My eldest sis and my third sis sponsored me RM400 for me to get a new phone and my forth sis and her BF got me a Levi's wallet... Really thanks them and for me, I got myself a long dreamed guitar... therefore from now on I got no excuses for not able to learn how to play guitar... This guitar cost me 1/3 of my salary, damn pain!!!~~~

For the past weekend, I spent my weekend in SG and also JB... Outing with friends is always exciting and will never feel tired... Have a great 1 day trip in SG and this time I went those places where I cant manage to go during my last trip there... Other than that I also have a great time at JB and thanks to ying tian for fetching me n my friends here and there for 2 days... 

I thought after Chinese New Year I am able let go... However I just realized that I just lying to myself that I alrd let go but in fact I just keep it deep inside my heart and make it untouchable... If I never think about her then I wont feel anything but once I keep on thinking bout her and thats the time I feel the differences... She always say that she want to get someone but she never give those people around her a chance so i also dunno what she actually want... 

The only thing that upset me in February is both of my external harddisk and laptop harddisk crashed and all my pictures since I entered university are all inside... Having headache on how to retrieve them... Those are the things that reminds me my time in university and let me know how enjoy I am during those time... I will definitely find way to retrieve them even it will cost me hundreds...

酒不醉人，人自醉

    我以为经过几天的过渡期，我已经能够接受他们就快在一起而我只能给于祝福的事实。可是当我看到他们亲密的靠在一起的时候，绞痛的心告诉我，其实我还没准备好。表面上很平静的我，其实心中已经刮起大风浪。原本亲密的他们看到我后，便分开来各自做各自的事情，让我感觉自己好像在拆散鸳鸯似的。与其我的出现让大家都不自在，我到不如先回家。

    在回家的路上，心情难以平复，每每想起他们有多么亲密，心就会痛一下。脑海中不停的问自己，为什么不是我，难道早已注定我不会得到她？既然回家还是会想，会烦，那么我干脆买一瓶酒，一边兜风一边喝。说实在这两天我真的喝了不少。昨天喝了接近六瓶，今天又喝了一瓶，虽然我知道喝酒伤身，但人不伤心不喝酒说明了一切。我很想大哭一番，好好发泄一下，可是我想哭却哭不出来，那种滋味有谁明了。

Another chapter in my long life journey...

   It has been already 5 months after my graduation and this is my 3rd month in work. It has been a totally new environment and lifestyle comparing to the time which i used to have during my study life. I really miss the time i used to have in university, outing with friends and doing those crazy stuffs together. However now we have lesser and lesser chances to do those crazy stuffs together as everyone is now busy with their own work and study.

   3rd month in work and I already can feel the difference between study and working life. Last time when i was still studying, I got a lot of time to do my own things and go out with friends even though everyday I still need to go for classes. However now when I started to work, almost everyday most of the time will be spent in office. The job I am having now require me to work even after office hours. Therefore I got less time to be with friends as after work I already super tired and dun even feel to go out. My parents keep on urging me to get a girlfriend but gosh everyday I work till so late where got time to go know girls.

   Actually I already have a target and I am trying my best to know her more well but day by day it seems that my chance is getting slimmer as I am not the only one that is going after her. I really don't why every time I fall into a girl there will always be one competitor and he for sure is one of my friends who have more advantages than me.  From YJ where I lost my advantage as I decided to skip standard 4 to standard 5 to AN where he is more handsome and his future is more brighter than me till the current, he live near to where she work and they can always lunch, dinner and even hang out together.

   Since last time, relation is one of my major weakness. Whenever i decided to go after a girl I will put in all my efforts, therefore every time when I got rejected or I realize my chance is slimmed I will be damn down. Before this, whenever I feel that I like the girl I will think a lots and won't go after her very soon until my friend told me whenever you think too much you might miss the chance. This time I already try my best to act fast to get closer to her and know more about her and I believe everything will have the solution so I should go after what I think is right.

    However I know that the final decision is not in my hand. after these 2 weeks observation, I think she will be more towards him than me as I do not have any advantage compare to him. Just like I said, he live near to the place she work so more time to be together, he is still studying so he is available any time whenever she need a company, he know how to sing and play guitar which I am not good in and lastly he knows how to massage which she needed whenever she is tired. I do not have all the advantages to tackle her, I can only try to spend my free time to go there dinner with her, try to get time to hang out with her and give her a call at night and show my concern to her. 

   Maybe its time to get a long holiday to think what I really want. I understand that at this stage relationship should not be my major thing in life and my career and my job will be more important. But I really hope this year I will get someone that I can share my everything with her and there will be someone that I can care of. Is my wishes so hard to be achieved? May god bless me and hope my wishes will come true.

weiloon

品冠的我以为 （超赞!!!）

你曾说不想有天让我知道
你对他,有那么好.
你说会懂我的失落,
不是靠宽容,就能够解脱.
我以为我出现的时候刚好,
你和他,就说要分开.
我以为你,已对他不再期待,
不纵容他再给你伤害
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙,
我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口,
全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错,
也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生.
我以为终究你会慢慢明白,
他的心已不在你身上,
我的关心,你依然无动于衷,
我的以为只是我以为.
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙,
我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口,
专心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错,
也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生.
他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅,
原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁.
我以为我够坚强,却一天天的失望,
少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望.
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙,
我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口,
专心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错,
也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生.
他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅,
原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁.
我以为我够坚强,却输的那么绝望,
少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望.

P.S. 永远永远不要对爱你的人说：“我们永远是最好的朋友。”
用朋友这两个字来拒绝他们比什么都来得伤~~~

要大学毕业了....

从小学到中学，我经历了两个五年, 而如今我第 三个五年也即将要结束了。。。 我的大学生涯从今天算起只剩下一个月而已,真的很舍不得。。。 舍不得读书的生活，舍不得和朋友一起玩乐的时间， 舍不得和一班志同道合的朋友一起办活动的时候。。。 这些的一切我都舍不得，可是我了解这是人生必经的旅程，没有一个人是可以避免的。。。 就好像从小三跳小五时的决定，当时我也舍不得那一班的朋友，可是不是每一个人都有那个机会，所以我还是和他们分道扬镳。。。 虽然现在和他们还有联络，可是彼此之间都不会象小三时，关系那么的密切。。。

想起一个小月后，就要和现在的朋友分道扬镳，心情难免有些低落。。。 我想毕业之后肯定很难再象这样一大班人一起出去庆祝生日和玩了。。。 毕业之后，各有各忙，各有各精彩，很难象现在这样要区那旧去那。。。中学时怀念小学的童真，大学时怀念中学的活泼，做工时就只能怀念大学没有社会压力的日子。。。 真的好想不要毕业，真的好想不和朋友分开，可是这些都只是想而已，是不可能发生的事情。。。

如今，只好好好把握这一个月和一班朋友同在的日子，让我将来有个美好的回忆。。。

Back to KL for another time...

after 2 months never step onto KL ground, last week finally i back to KL again after such a long time... the main purpose of the returning was for my seniors' convocation... however that's not the great part, the greatest part was finally the whole gang of friends can meet up again n hang out together... that nite, the whole gang went to Delicious at Mid Valley to have our dinner then we went to Alexis Bistro to have a drink... by the time we finished our yumcha session it was 11pm... for us it still consider early cause be4 tat every time we out we never back home before 12am... however, only half of us heading back home after the Alexis Bistro yumcha session, the other half included me went met some seniors at the curve there and had another yumcha session... by the time i reached cyberjaya, it ready 2am (at least i feel like this just consider normal to me)...

jus after a week, today i back to Cyberjaya again... this time i back for nothing, saja feel wanna back nia... hehe... this time i followed my sis n bro in law back to KL as they need to attend a wedding ceremony at Cyber View Lodge... so after i dropped them there, i used their car to go meet my friends... My current location is Studio X which is situated at Taman Desa... Came here to listen to my friend, gkai a.k.a bird bird tan sing, he works part time here... as this week many of my friends not around so i jus followed him here.... while listen to his singing, at least i can on9 n blogging, wont feel bore...

cant wait to come bec KL study n hang out with friends again... but by the time i back to KL again it means that my study life will last for another 6 months... don't feel wanna grad so soon, still wanna play and have fun with friends...

but life wont go like what we wish to... so just appreciate what we having now ba... to me n all my friends...

又回来了。。。

好久没上来了，是时候要更新咯。。。

过了这一段时间，我终于放开了。。。虽然有时候想起还会觉得不甘心，但心中的那个结已经解开了。。。 前一段时间在购物广场偶遇，我没过去和她打招呼，只是在远远和她挥挥手， 之后在网上有自动去和她聊天。。。认识这么多年了，一直以来都把她当作很好的朋友，可现在聊天时的感觉和普通朋友没两样。。。或许是太久没联络了吧，希望久而久之和她的关系会变得和以前一样，可以通电话及分享心事的好朋友。。。

前几天无意中看了一集的连续集，故事中讲到一位女生和一位男生，A男是一对夫妻，育有一位女儿，一家过着幸福的生活。直到A男因为一场意外后，这幸福的生活产生了天翻地覆的变化。这场意外令到A男昏迷了好长的一段时间。这段时间A男的朋友，B男一直都有来探望他并且鼓励这位女生要坚持下去。A男一昏迷就昏迷了4年，这4来这位女生也和B男产生了感情。

就在两人刚结婚不久，奇迹发生了，昏迷了4年的A男醒了过来。当A男知道他原本的伴侣如今已为人妻，女儿也叫他人爸爸而仿佛不认识他，他本身也因意外使到他的左半身肌肉萎缩后，脾气变得暴躁，自暴自弃，不再去医院做复健。虽然已为人妻，但这位女生还是一直去找A男，希望他不要放弃做复健。可是性情大变的A男根本不领情，还把她赶走。

看完这一集连续集，我个人的情感很矛盾。我在想假如我是A男我会如何做。站在A男的立场，我觉得这女生不知羞耻，对我不忠。在我昏迷期间居然和别的男人在一起，根本就对不起我，而且之后还一直来找我，无形中不断的刺激我。当然虽然那女生或许是真的关心我，但一想到他和别的男人已在一起，我一定会承受不住。可是站在女生的立场，我觉得这女生也不完全是错的。因为她毕竟是一个女生，要养活自己，女儿还有在病床上的A男，确实是很难，所以在和B男日久生情后，仿佛有了一个依靠的地方，决定和他结婚这个抉择是可以理解的。

假如这是一个人生交叉点，我一定不知要选择哪一个。身为一个男生，我一定会要求我的另一半对我从一而终，不管我发生什么事她都不应该离开我。可是想到女生的青春是有限的，假如我真的昏迷不醒，难道她一定要等我一辈子吗？难道我不希望她得到幸福吗？想来想去，还是觉得这是一个两难的抉择。。。