Sunday, January 20, 2008

2008 < Review of 2007>

Almost 1 year i never signing in here... now i'm bec... hahaha... for the pass one year so many things came to me and it made me more clearer what a person i am and what a person i wanna be...

Last year march , a fren of mine passed away... though i nt very close with him but from the few meetings with him , he is a kind n brave person... its a wasted to me and all his best fren that such a generous person had left us... but this mayb the easiest way for him as he had suffered for such a long time...

since i stepped into university at 2005 , i have been very active in cls... for the passed 2 years i joined many activities , either be the working committee or the organizing committee... last year july after taking some time to think bout my future , i participated in the election of the high committe of cls... after the voting , i m so lucky to be chosen as the general treasurer of society... since that i m so busy with all the treasurer stuffs... sometimes i would like jus being loaf doing nothing and sit in front of my laptop surfing for nothing and reading novels... however after that those works still need to be done , just it may be taking a longer time.. hehe :P

last year , it is also the first time i involved in an accident... however the accident only involved my car as it happened that i bang the divider after i tried to avoid a trailer... luckily noone was hurt , jus the front part of my car damaged...

after such a long time finally i know the reason... though it mayb a bit cruel for me but it jus happened that it is a fact and i should accept and not to disturb her anymore... i mayb bringing quite some troubles to her be4 this and since i know mayb someone is going after her , i should not disturb her anymore... be4 this many times i said tat i should let go but every time it failed because i am thinking that i may have chance if i din let go... however the fact is i have no chance since she first rejected me... n now since i know why , i should try my best to let go... actually since beginning i also know that i just have a very tiny chance to succeed but i just wanna try... it already 2 years since out last meeting... and it already years ago that we talk face to face... and it happened that i just not willingly to let go if i din have a try and get to know the reason... be4 this i rd suspect why she rejected me but i just dun believe to myself and try to convince myself maybe she dun wan distance relation and so on... after all , finally it proved that i am right bout why she rejected me...

life is just like a movie... everything happened just like well planning... sometimes we just should listen to the voice that come out from deep inside of our heart as it always speak the truth... however it also happened that human ourselves just dun wanna believe it and try to prove that it speak nonsense... after turning such a big round , at last we must also accept what happened to be the truth... sometimes chance come very fast and go very fast , if we din assurance the chance , we lost the chance forever and this is what i missed for years...

since 2nd jan 2008 till now i din have any contact with her, all i know bout her are all from my frens... i already decided to let go and the first step i will do is stop contacting her... she's been inside my heart for such a long time about 10 years and now it is impossible for me to let go in a short time... mayb it takes another 10 years to forget her or mayb 20 years or until i find a gal that can replace her in my heart... and i just decided not to keep in touch with her till i let go... i dunno whether i can do that or not but i swear i will try my best even... maybe jus a sms during cny or her birthday , other than that i wont do anything till i let go... mayb it sounds a little bit cruel for not replying a best fren n a true fren message... but i think i should did that in order for me to let go and not to suffer from it anymore...

maybe my chance had gone since i passed my PTS and decided to skip standard 4 and straight go to standard 5...... maybe...... maybe...... and maybe............................