今天对我来讲是个特别的日子... 二十年前的今天我来到了这个花花世界，而今天将是我生命中的一个转折点，因为从今天开始我将把一直以来困扰着我的心结解开，正式把心扉重新打开... 一直以来在寻找放弃的理由的我，终于迎来了一个让我彻彻底底放弃她的理由... 从一开始对她的恨，在经过了这一个星期多的时间后，也慢慢地变淡了... 曾经有人说过，“没有爱，何来恨???” ， 或许恨一个人也是爱的一种吧...
虽然放下她不是一朝一夕能做到的，但至少现在我可以不再为了她的事情而产生很大的反应，这或许就是放下她的第一步... 也许因为她，我已错失了很多的机会，但路是我自己选的，我就要走完它，无论最终的结局是如何我都要接受... 在十岁到十九岁的这十年里，我都奉献了给她，或许最终的结局并不是我想要得的，但这部戏的结局就是如此... 正所谓：人生如戏，戏如人生，在我们的一生中并不是每一个结局都是美好的，有时一个不美满的结局或许能让我们的人生更精彩...
这一段时间或许是因为想通了这些道理，所以我才能迈开放下她的第一步... 今天我正式加入了二十家族，所以我承诺自己从今天开始从新写一个属于我自己的故事，一个不一样的故事... 我不会特地去知道她的近况，一切顺其自然，但可以肯定的是她只会存在于我的回忆里... 曾经我说过我们或许会像她所说的那般，永远是好朋友，但当我真正面对事实时，我发现事实永远都是残酷的... 很多东西说得容易，但能否做到却是另外一回事... 我们俩之间永远都会有一层薄膜，虽然薄，但它的影响却是重大的...
或许放手也是爱的一种，也是一种幸福吧!!!!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Chinese New Year...
happy chinese new year to all my frens!!! so happy tat its a whole new year and i will have a whole new life... since last meeting wif my frens, i keep on thinking about his advises to me... he asked me to called her know the reason from her and settle it face to face or phone to phone like wat he did...
he is one of my best fren i know since my primary... and he is also one of her admirer... during secondary school he changed to another gal and after all he bec to her again... but he is more luckier than me as he know the reason earlier and settle it be4 he went to China where he spent the time to let go and start a new life and he did it... he let go after all... firstly i m thinking about is it an efficient way for me to do so as both of us is in different condition and environment...
yesterday night be4 sleep i think bout tat and i decided to called her and settle this thing be4 my 20th birthday where there is another 9 days to go... however things wont happen like wat we wish it to be... today when i was driving bec to cyberjaya from my hometown one of my best fren sms me... he told me he gt a very very terrible news to tell me n asked me to tell him when i ready to listen it... from tat time i know finally the time has come... i rd expected this news n i think i was rd to know it... i asked my fren she gt bf rd izzit... and he replied "yes"... i thought i was rd to face it but after all i know i wasnt rd enough as when i knew this i felt pain... my heart is bleeding...
though i know this day will come but i jus cant expect it to come so soon... so soon till i have no time to settle it... actually say seriously i hate her... whenever i remember bout the sms she replied me during form 4 till she rejected me n din tell me the reason when i asked her till my fren told me , i feel i hate her a lots... however in deep in my heart i dun wan to hate her for a simple reason, she is the first gal i like and i hope she will always a perfect gal for me...
i know form this moment , there will be always a scar in my heart... though i m unlike my fren , he gt 2 n i only gt 1 but this scar is too large for me, too large till it is hardly to recover... though she always said she hope we will be like last time n i will be her best fren forever n our friendship will last forever... but friendly speaking i know i cant do that... i know from now on i lost a best fren, a best fren tat i first met her when i was 4 or 5... i dun hope this to happen but things arent happen like wat i wish it to be... that's y ppl always said " LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE" , i thought our friendship will last eternity , by the truth is it cant...
its rd 2 years since i last meeting wif her... in these 2 years i told myself to giv up many times but i jus couldnt do tat... n now finally there is no excuses for me not to giv up as she dun hav any feel to me and jus recently she gt a boyfren rd... its is a solid excuse to force me to giv up... the time has come , a time where i should live without her and only for myself... the wound will nvr disappear , it will jus become a scar where it will be always in my heart now n forever...
be4 this my fren asked me whether i rd giv up onot n i said i was trying... then he asked me if now she said she like u wat will u do , accept her n reject her... though i know i hav no hope at all but my answer is still yes...
he is one of my best fren i know since my primary... and he is also one of her admirer... during secondary school he changed to another gal and after all he bec to her again... but he is more luckier than me as he know the reason earlier and settle it be4 he went to China where he spent the time to let go and start a new life and he did it... he let go after all... firstly i m thinking about is it an efficient way for me to do so as both of us is in different condition and environment...
yesterday night be4 sleep i think bout tat and i decided to called her and settle this thing be4 my 20th birthday where there is another 9 days to go... however things wont happen like wat we wish it to be... today when i was driving bec to cyberjaya from my hometown one of my best fren sms me... he told me he gt a very very terrible news to tell me n asked me to tell him when i ready to listen it... from tat time i know finally the time has come... i rd expected this news n i think i was rd to know it... i asked my fren she gt bf rd izzit... and he replied "yes"... i thought i was rd to face it but after all i know i wasnt rd enough as when i knew this i felt pain... my heart is bleeding...
though i know this day will come but i jus cant expect it to come so soon... so soon till i have no time to settle it... actually say seriously i hate her... whenever i remember bout the sms she replied me during form 4 till she rejected me n din tell me the reason when i asked her till my fren told me , i feel i hate her a lots... however in deep in my heart i dun wan to hate her for a simple reason, she is the first gal i like and i hope she will always a perfect gal for me...
i know form this moment , there will be always a scar in my heart... though i m unlike my fren , he gt 2 n i only gt 1 but this scar is too large for me, too large till it is hardly to recover... though she always said she hope we will be like last time n i will be her best fren forever n our friendship will last forever... but friendly speaking i know i cant do that... i know from now on i lost a best fren, a best fren tat i first met her when i was 4 or 5... i dun hope this to happen but things arent happen like wat i wish it to be... that's y ppl always said " LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE" , i thought our friendship will last eternity , by the truth is it cant...
its rd 2 years since i last meeting wif her... in these 2 years i told myself to giv up many times but i jus couldnt do tat... n now finally there is no excuses for me not to giv up as she dun hav any feel to me and jus recently she gt a boyfren rd... its is a solid excuse to force me to giv up... the time has come , a time where i should live without her and only for myself... the wound will nvr disappear , it will jus become a scar where it will be always in my heart now n forever...
be4 this my fren asked me whether i rd giv up onot n i said i was trying... then he asked me if now she said she like u wat will u do , accept her n reject her... though i know i hav no hope at all but my answer is still yes...
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