My Greatest February!!!

After a quite miserable January, finally February has come... Although today is the last day of February, however the whole February has brought me quite a number of memorable moments... The 1st thing I did since entering February was shopping for my Chinese New Year clothes and get myself ready for the coming hectic New Year... For every single people like me Chinese New Year is always an enjoyable moment for us as we can get Ang Pows from the elder...

At the same time Chinese New Year is always the ONLY time for me to meet all my primary and secondary friends... The whole Chinese New Year, I had been spending all my times with my family and my friends... Together we did crazy stuffs like playing basketball late in the night of the 1st day of Chinese New Year... All those moments with family and friends help me to ease my feeling and bring me happiness... 

After Chinese New Year, its Valentine's Day... Valentine's day is always not a day that I will celebrate and its still the same for this year... Never got the ONE to celebrate with therefore Valentine's day is just a normal day for me... This year my Valentine's day was slightly different as I went dinner with my sister and her boyfriend and of cause some other people as well... If only me and two of them surely I wont go, dun wan to be a super huge light bulb... hahaha...

February is the special month for me as my birthday falls in this month... Every year one of my wishes surely is to get someone to be on my side for me to share my every single moments with her but till now i am still single and having all the happy and sad moments on my own... Although I have friends to share my feelings but a he and a she is always making some differences... Anyway I really want to thank my friends for their willingness to celebrate my birthday with me... This year I had few celebration at Neway, Library, San Fransisco Pizza and Pit stop... Hopefully next year after 23years, I can get my special one to celebrate my birthday with me...

This year birthday I got present from my sisters and sister's BF and I even got myself a gift... My eldest sis and my third sis sponsored me RM400 for me to get a new phone and my forth sis and her BF got me a Levi's wallet... Really thanks them and for me, I got myself a long dreamed guitar... therefore from now on I got no excuses for not able to learn how to play guitar... This guitar cost me 1/3 of my salary, damn pain!!!~~~

For the past weekend, I spent my weekend in SG and also JB... Outing with friends is always exciting and will never feel tired... Have a great 1 day trip in SG and this time I went those places where I cant manage to go during my last trip there... Other than that I also have a great time at JB and thanks to ying tian for fetching me n my friends here and there for 2 days... 

I thought after Chinese New Year I am able let go... However I just realized that I just lying to myself that I alrd let go but in fact I just keep it deep inside my heart and make it untouchable... If I never think about her then I wont feel anything but once I keep on thinking bout her and thats the time I feel the differences... She always say that she want to get someone but she never give those people around her a chance so i also dunno what she actually want... 

The only thing that upset me in February is both of my external harddisk and laptop harddisk crashed and all my pictures since I entered university are all inside... Having headache on how to retrieve them... Those are the things that reminds me my time in university and let me know how enjoy I am during those time... I will definitely find way to retrieve them even it will cost me hundreds...

酒不醉人，人自醉

    我以为经过几天的过渡期，我已经能够接受他们就快在一起而我只能给于祝福的事实。可是当我看到他们亲密的靠在一起的时候，绞痛的心告诉我，其实我还没准备好。表面上很平静的我，其实心中已经刮起大风浪。原本亲密的他们看到我后，便分开来各自做各自的事情，让我感觉自己好像在拆散鸳鸯似的。与其我的出现让大家都不自在，我到不如先回家。

    在回家的路上，心情难以平复，每每想起他们有多么亲密，心就会痛一下。脑海中不停的问自己，为什么不是我，难道早已注定我不会得到她？既然回家还是会想，会烦，那么我干脆买一瓶酒，一边兜风一边喝。说实在这两天我真的喝了不少。昨天喝了接近六瓶，今天又喝了一瓶，虽然我知道喝酒伤身，但人不伤心不喝酒说明了一切。我很想大哭一番，好好发泄一下，可是我想哭却哭不出来，那种滋味有谁明了。

Another chapter in my long life journey...

   It has been already 5 months after my graduation and this is my 3rd month in work. It has been a totally new environment and lifestyle comparing to the time which i used to have during my study life. I really miss the time i used to have in university, outing with friends and doing those crazy stuffs together. However now we have lesser and lesser chances to do those crazy stuffs together as everyone is now busy with their own work and study.

   3rd month in work and I already can feel the difference between study and working life. Last time when i was still studying, I got a lot of time to do my own things and go out with friends even though everyday I still need to go for classes. However now when I started to work, almost everyday most of the time will be spent in office. The job I am having now require me to work even after office hours. Therefore I got less time to be with friends as after work I already super tired and dun even feel to go out. My parents keep on urging me to get a girlfriend but gosh everyday I work till so late where got time to go know girls.

   Actually I already have a target and I am trying my best to know her more well but day by day it seems that my chance is getting slimmer as I am not the only one that is going after her. I really don't why every time I fall into a girl there will always be one competitor and he for sure is one of my friends who have more advantages than me.  From YJ where I lost my advantage as I decided to skip standard 4 to standard 5 to AN where he is more handsome and his future is more brighter than me till the current, he live near to where she work and they can always lunch, dinner and even hang out together.

   Since last time, relation is one of my major weakness. Whenever i decided to go after a girl I will put in all my efforts, therefore every time when I got rejected or I realize my chance is slimmed I will be damn down. Before this, whenever I feel that I like the girl I will think a lots and won't go after her very soon until my friend told me whenever you think too much you might miss the chance. This time I already try my best to act fast to get closer to her and know more about her and I believe everything will have the solution so I should go after what I think is right.

    However I know that the final decision is not in my hand. after these 2 weeks observation, I think she will be more towards him than me as I do not have any advantage compare to him. Just like I said, he live near to the place she work so more time to be together, he is still studying so he is available any time whenever she need a company, he know how to sing and play guitar which I am not good in and lastly he knows how to massage which she needed whenever she is tired. I do not have all the advantages to tackle her, I can only try to spend my free time to go there dinner with her, try to get time to hang out with her and give her a call at night and show my concern to her. 

   Maybe its time to get a long holiday to think what I really want. I understand that at this stage relationship should not be my major thing in life and my career and my job will be more important. But I really hope this year I will get someone that I can share my everything with her and there will be someone that I can care of. Is my wishes so hard to be achieved? May god bless me and hope my wishes will come true.

weiloon