happy chinese new year to all my frens!!! so happy tat its a whole new year and i will have a whole new life... since last meeting wif my frens, i keep on thinking about his advises to me... he asked me to called her know the reason from her and settle it face to face or phone to phone like wat he did...
he is one of my best fren i know since my primary... and he is also one of her admirer... during secondary school he changed to another gal and after all he bec to her again... but he is more luckier than me as he know the reason earlier and settle it be4 he went to China where he spent the time to let go and start a new life and he did it... he let go after all... firstly i m thinking about is it an efficient way for me to do so as both of us is in different condition and environment...
yesterday night be4 sleep i think bout tat and i decided to called her and settle this thing be4 my 20th birthday where there is another 9 days to go... however things wont happen like wat we wish it to be... today when i was driving bec to cyberjaya from my hometown one of my best fren sms me... he told me he gt a very very terrible news to tell me n asked me to tell him when i ready to listen it... from tat time i know finally the time has come... i rd expected this news n i think i was rd to know it... i asked my fren she gt bf rd izzit... and he replied "yes"... i thought i was rd to face it but after all i know i wasnt rd enough as when i knew this i felt pain... my heart is bleeding...
though i know this day will come but i jus cant expect it to come so soon... so soon till i have no time to settle it... actually say seriously i hate her... whenever i remember bout the sms she replied me during form 4 till she rejected me n din tell me the reason when i asked her till my fren told me , i feel i hate her a lots... however in deep in my heart i dun wan to hate her for a simple reason, she is the first gal i like and i hope she will always a perfect gal for me...
i know form this moment , there will be always a scar in my heart... though i m unlike my fren , he gt 2 n i only gt 1 but this scar is too large for me, too large till it is hardly to recover... though she always said she hope we will be like last time n i will be her best fren forever n our friendship will last forever... but friendly speaking i know i cant do that... i know from now on i lost a best fren, a best fren tat i first met her when i was 4 or 5... i dun hope this to happen but things arent happen like wat i wish it to be... that's y ppl always said " LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE" , i thought our friendship will last eternity , by the truth is it cant...
its rd 2 years since i last meeting wif her... in these 2 years i told myself to giv up many times but i jus couldnt do tat... n now finally there is no excuses for me not to giv up as she dun hav any feel to me and jus recently she gt a boyfren rd... its is a solid excuse to force me to giv up... the time has come , a time where i should live without her and only for myself... the wound will nvr disappear , it will jus become a scar where it will be always in my heart now n forever...
be4 this my fren asked me whether i rd giv up onot n i said i was trying... then he asked me if now she said she like u wat will u do , accept her n reject her... though i know i hav no hope at all but my answer is still yes...
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